HOW-TO Come out of the Closet

Coming out is one of the hardest and most personally-defining moments in a man or woman's life.  It is the time when these people not only accept who they are, but accept who they are regardless of whether or not others do.  It takes courage, bravery, and a strong sense of self.  Not just this, but it is arguably one of the hardest things a person may ever have to do in a lifetime.  Because of this, there are many sites dedicated to making this defining moment a little easier.

Here are some links:
Coming Out Tips - About.com Guide to Gay Life


WikiHow:  How to Come Out as Gay or Lesbian


Qnet.org - How Can I Tell My Parents I'm Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual?


It is important to read about the issue and have a strategy for the confrontation.  If a parent or friend reacts badly, it is important to anticipate this so it doesn't slow your stride.  These things happen.  It will take your family time to adjust to the idea just as it took you time to adjust as well.  These websites tell you what to say, what not to say and how to say it.  They tell you what to expect, and also how to deal with the unexpected.

Why write about Gay Rights and issues?

     Why do I write about issues facing the gay community?  First and foremost, it is not because I am gay.  I am not gay.  It is because I am human.  
It hurts my heart to think that two people in love cannot get married.  And yet many straight people get married two, three, four, or even five times!  How will being gay destroy the sanctity of marriage?  It seems to me that the sanctity of marriage is being lessened and destroyed without the help of the gays. 


          It also hurts me to think that gay students are being bullied literally to death.  Children committing suicide for being gay?  Or worse, not for being gay, but for being called gay?  I think the entire world as a whole needs to change its attitude and outlook towards the people in it.  We are all equal, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, wealth, or otherwise.  At the end of the day, we all live and we will all die.  Life and death do not discriminate.  They takes us all.  And I just feel as though we should try to make our short experience on earth one that is full of happiness, rather than hate, discrimination and prejudice, and we should try to do the same for others.  It truly hurts me.


I will never make fun of anybody or talk badly about them: Not for their gender, sexuality, race, clothes, hair or shoes.  Or anything.  I think every person I pass by has someone in the world who loves them and deserves to be treated as a human.  Our society makes it such a socially acceptable norm to pass judgement on others.  It is wrong, and we are breeding future generations of those who will continue to act this way.  I think the world in general is in need of some intervention.


I hope to be lucky enough to have children and raise a family someday.  It is awful to say, but I hope my children are not gay.  I hope they are not gay because I don't want them to have to face the trials and tribulations that come with it.  It's unfair.  No one should have to feel awful and unaccepted because of who they are or who they love.  But, that's the reality of the world.  However, if my children are gay, I will embrace them tenfold.  First, if they are gay and have the confidence to tell me about it, that means they are also courageous, because it takes a lot of bravery to be openly gay in a world that doesn't want you to be.

Casual gay-bashing conversation at St. John's

       Today, after leaving the printing lab in Mariillac Hall, I retreated downstairs for some food in the cafeteria.  On my way down the stairs there were two boys in front of me having conversation amongst themselves.  They were talking about their roommate in the dorms.  They were thinking of ways they could get him removed from their suite next semester.  Why?  Because he is gay.
       I think it's awful, not only to feel this way within yourself, but to be comfortable enough in your prejudice to speak about it with others around.  You never know who is listening and who might be hurt by your words.  When I heard them speaking, I didn't respond to their harshness with a racial slur.  Why?  Aside from the fact that I am not racist or prejudiced in the least, I didn't say anything  because had I done so to prove my point, they would have turned around SO fast and made a scene about it.  Why, though?  Why is prejudice against gays okay, and other prejudices are not?
      I held my tongue, but I regret it.  I should have told them they were wrong.  I should have told them they were awful for saying what they said.  The names they called him amongst themselves so casually is what leads so many gay students to suicide.  I should have said something.  Calling a gay man a fagg*t should be just as wrong as calling others racial, prejudicial, discriminatory slurs. And it's not.  WHY?!?

DID YOU KNOW? Famous gay, lesbian, and bisexual celebs:

Andersoon Cooper
Jodie Foster
Neil Patrick Harris
Nathan Lane
Drew Barrymore
Ani DiFranco
Angelina Jolie
Michelle Rodriguez
Marlon Brando
Nelly Furtado
Megan Fox
Andy Dick
Eleanor Roosevelt

The above are some of the very many celebrities you may not have known to be gay or bisexual.  I mean, Eleanor Roosevelt?  Come on, 'who woulda thunk it'?  Those listed above are all documented as referring to themselves as either gay or bisexual, and many use their power in the limelight as activism for their cause.

IS JOHN TRAVOLTA GAY?

Carrie Fisher, a long-time friend of Travolta's, said bluntly to a writer for The Advocate, “Wow, I mean my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don’t care.”
However, is this enough to OUT the man publically?  It's her word against his.  However, what if it was her word, and many other people's words, against his?  Would it then be more believable?  

The same article tells that author Robert Rudolph has not only witnessed John Travolta having gay sex, but since outing Travolta has received emails from many other man claiming to also have had sex with John.  Randolph plans to write a book on the matter, of which he has "plenty of material", that he will call "Tracking Travolta".


"When the details emerge, he's gonna make Tiger Woods look like a Boy Scout," Randolph said, according to this article.


That same article also says that Randolph passed a lie detector test  concerning his statements regarding Travolta's homosexual love life.

MAN CURED OF HIV IN BERLIN

According to the FOXNews article, "Timothy Ray Brown, an HIV-positive American living in Germany, had leukemia and was undergoing chemotherapy, when he received a transplant of stem cells from a donor carrying a rare, inherited gene mutation that seems to make carriers virtually immune to HIV infection."


Doctors say the successful transplant rid Brown of both his leukemia and his HIV infection.

However, the cure is "absurdly impractical".  You have to "find compatible donor that has this genetic defect, and this defect is only found in 1 percent of the Caucasian population and zero percent of the black population. This is very rare.”


However impractical, though, it gives us hope that a more practical and standard cure for HIV is realistic in the future and marks a huge milestone in HIV/AIDS research.

"HUMAN RIGHTS REPORT SLAMS IRAN FOR HARASSING GAYS"

This article, released by the Associated Press, discusses Iranian law's violation of Human Rights and international law regarding the country's treatment of homosexuals.


Here are some highlights, quoted directly from the article:

Thousands of people are believed to have been condemned to death for homosexual activity since the 1979 Iranian revolution, and the public hanging of two men – one of them a minor – in 2005 for having consensual sex drew international attention.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was jeered when he said in a speech at Colombia University that homosexuality did not exist in Iran.

Iranian law criminalizes all sex outside traditional marriage. But the report said the government “appears to officially sanction harassment and abuse” of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Iranians, who are often seen as “diseased, criminals or corrupt agents of Western culture.”

Under Iran’s Islamic law, same-sex intercourse between two men is punishable by death, but the penalty is more lenient for lesbians – 100 lashes for the first three offenses and the death penalty for the fourth.

Pictures not taken with my partner

Well, since the other ones are so awful, I've decided to take it upon myself to do the assignment again, this time on my own merit.  Again, the unedited pictures are first, and the edited photos follow.

 1.

I thought this picture looked more like a painting than a photograph, so when editing it I decided to make it reaaaaalllyyy look like a painting.  I took this in Rhode Island.

 2.

 When I took this picture I had been wearing sunglasses, and thought it looked cooler with them on.  So when editing, I figured I'd add the purple tint.  I also blurred the cars to draw more attention to the cloud.  It was insane!

 3.

 

 With this one I wanted to mess with the color a little bit.  The color really changes the whole tone of the photo, because the top is a picture of a sunset, and the bottom looks like a picture of a soon-to-be storm.

 4.

 This photo is obviously all about the colors, so when editing, I decided to enhance them and make them brighter.  I think the color boost makes the photo look way better and more eye-catching

5.

 By changing the colors of this wave from blue to green, the water looks like it comes from two totally different oceans on different corners of the world.  I think the green, jade-looking one looks really exotic.

6.

 

 By changing the exposure and fiddling a little bit with pretty much every editing tool on iPhoto, I somehow seemed to make this picture (taken from a previous blog posting) look like it was drawn with pencil?  Very, very cool.  I also cropped the picture a bit.

 

Gayest Cartoon Characters

 

AND THE GAYEST OF ALL...

  ACE AND GARY.

...EVEN THEIR CAR WAS GAY!

       With the exception of Ace and Gary, whose superpowers seemed to be the ability to have sex in flight and drove around in what looks very much like a penis with wheels, the other characters on this list never really DID anything homosexual.  So, what makes them so gay?
        This is an example of how society can shape titles and labels.  These characters are considered gay because they 'look' gay or 'act' gay.  Well, how does a homosexual look?  How does a homosexual act?  To be 'gay' today, you don't even have to have be sexually active with someone of the same-sex.
      Gender identity is a hot topic in today's society.  If you're a girl and you've got a crew cut and wear baggy jeans- you're gay.  If you're a boy in a deep v-neck and your voice isn't as deep as it 'should' be  - you're gay.  Boys who dance ballet and girls who play softball are all a bunch of gays.  Right?  Wrong.  These stereotypes are affecting the content of everything we absorb and the labeling of everyone we meet:  And they are wrong.
      These characters represent what social and cultural ideas mean for the labeling of gays.  These labels lead to stereotyping, and stereotyping breeds discrimination.  Even Piglet is on this list, and he's just a kid.  Piglet being considered gay just shows how youth can be taunted for their sexuality before they are even old enough to understand it.  In Minnesota, Seth Walsh hanged himself in his backyard after being bullied for being looking, or acting, or seeming gay.  He was 13. 
     In short, the stereotypes and labels need to stop.  Seemingly-straight gays walk among us every day.  Maybe you share your dorm room with one.  Maybe you're dating one and you won't find out he/she is gay until 5 years into your marriage.

There are lesbians who don't wear flannel, and not all gay men have lisps. 

2011 National Day of Silence

        The 15th annual National Day of Silence will be held on April 15, 2011.  This day brings attention to anti-LGBT name calling and harassment in schools across the nation.  The protests the actual silencing of LGBT students due to the abuse, harassment and bias that occurs in schools.  The effort is youth-run and hundreds of thousands participate each year, making it the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools.
         The idea is to create solidarity within the schools.  The ever-silenced, fearful LGBT students are, on this day, accompanied in this silence by their peers. 

To participate, all you need is to not speak for one day.  

        

Homosexuality - Nature vs Nurture

     Recent studies show gay parents are more likely to have gay kids.  Whether this is good or bad depends on your outlook on gays in general, I suppose.  However, it definitely supports my idea that being gay is not always something you are born with.  I feel that if you enroll your son in ballet and figure skating, and your daughter in softball and lacrosse, you could be fostering a homosexual.  Not to say that all softball players are lesbians and all male ballerinas are gay, but let's face it - these are stereotypes that ring true often.
      However, when reading through the article, there was certainly one thing that upset me: "The decision to permit homosexuals to adopt is best made by the judiciary on a case by case basis."   Ah, there's the kicker.  Nothing like a little governmental prejudice to spice up a story.  I would love to hear of one rational reason gays would ever be unable to adopt that isn't based on the sole fact that they are gay.  

       Your straight sons will continue to be called "faggot" in school for as long as the government allows this prejudice.  If the government bullies the gays, how does anyone expect young children not to do the same in their schools?  Watch TV.  Bullying is becoming a major issue.  Kids are committing suicide everywhere and often.  Many of them are doing so because they are being called gay, rather than actually being gay.  
       Young children, those too young to even know their orientation are hanging themselves.  I  guess a brutal, self-inflicted death is a better alternative to being called gay all of the time.  Why?  Because being called gay is one of the worst things you can say to someone.  Why is that?  I'm not too sure.  I truly wish it wasn't the case.
     Another study on the topic also says that a household without a dad could be beneficial for a child, as your son may be more empathetic and nurturing, rather than caught up in becoming the family's next alpha male. Gay parents tend to raise children in a more open, accepting environment, and rightfully so, because gays tend to be more open and accepting.  I've never heard of a gay walking by someone who "looks" straight and yelling "EW! WHAT A HETERO," in their face.  It just doesn't seem to happen that way.

Photo Assignment

So, these are pretty awful.  The camera being used had no flash, and was being used at night.  Most of my editing was done to increase the lighting because of the lack-there-of in the originals.  The 'before' pictures are first, and, naturally, the 'after' pictures come after.

BULLYCIDE

        Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers, took his life after his college roommate found it hilarious to stream a sex tape of Tyler over the internet.  Dharun, Tyler's roommate, did this more than once.  Why?  Because Tyler was having sex with a man.  The only reason Dharun harrassed Tyler was because he was gay.  Tyler, in response to having his gay sexcapades and personal life outed via global internet streaming, jumped off the George Washington Bridge.  On September 22 at 8:42pm, Tyler's facebook status read, "jumping off the gw bridge sorry."  I guess Dharun isn't the only one using social media to get their message across.  

       At age 13, Seth Walsh hanged himself from a tree after being harassed for years for being gay.

       At age 19, Raymond Chase hanged himself in his dorm room for the same reason.

       At age 15, Billy Lucas did the same.

       At age 13, Asher Brown also killed himself.
       All of these deaths occured within two weeks of each other.
       Five young, aspiring teens took their own lives.  And Why?
       They were bullied to death.
   How many young lives need to be taken before serious action is taken?  Is five enough?  Or do more young children need to commit themselves to violent suicide before things begin to change? 
     According to news articles reporting on the deaths, in many cases, the parents of the deceased children went to the school in regards to the excessive bullying.  
                                       They sought help.  They received none.
                                                      NOW WHAT? 

LGBT Rights by Country or Territory

         One thing the world doesn't agree on, among pretty much everything else, is homosexuality.  Different states hold different values and laws and express different general feelings than others.  For example, same-sex marriage is legal in California but not in New York.  Naturally, these feelings and laws also differ from country to country as well.  This Wiki article can shed some light on many gay rights from many places, from the acceptance of same-sex marriage to the allowance of gays to serve openly in the military in places from Belize to Canada.

      From what I can see, Canada is probably the best place to be gay.  On the chart in the Wiki article, Canada has allowed all the LGBT rights given as example.  However, in places like Trinidad and Tobego, it is illegal to even engage in homosexual acts and violators receive a 25 year prison sentence.  In Barbados, those who commit homosexual acts receive a penalty of life in prison.  Even in Puerto Rico, gays have just recently (1996) been given the right to engage in homosexual acts, and hold no other rights in this commonwealth of the United States.
        In places like Guyana, it is illegal for males to be gay but not for women.  Males who commit to homosexual acts receive life in prison.  This double-standard is rediculous, and Guyana is not the only country who has this law.  The chart can really open one's eyes to the levels of discrimination in certain places and the values many, many countries hold.  I've also included this map posted here to show LGBT rights varying by U.S. states.  As you can see, the gays have got a long way to go.
                                            Gay Rights are Civil Rights
                           Gay Rights are Human Rights

Bullying Is SO Gay

An ABC News article tells us that a conservative Christian activist organization says "anti-bullying programs push gay agenda".  The article goes on to say that the reason gay rights groups' advocate anti-bullying in schools is to promote homosexuality to children.  The allegation is that anti-bullying campaigning pushes political agenda towards same-sex marriage and other gay rights.

Click here to read the whole article.

"Concerned about homosexual advocacy in your child's school? You've come to the right place. TrueTolerance.org helps you respond in a loving and fact-based way."  Please visit to get a taste of the mindless b*@!$#it this "organization" (cough-OCCULT-cough) has to feed.

Heterosexual Blood Saves Lives! Donate Today, If You're Not Gay!

Before the rant, just a few facts about the need for blood donations:

More than 4.5 million patients need blood transfusions each year in the U.S. and Canada.

Someone needs blood every two seconds.

Only 38% of the U.S. population is eligible to donate blood – less than 10 percent do annually.

About 1 in 7 people entering a hospital need blood.

One pint of blood can save up to three lives.

Current FDA rules dictate that any man who has had sex with another man since 1977  cannot donate.

This rule was adopted in the 80s, before the existence of tests capable of identifying HIV-positive blood. 

about 219,000 more pints of blood could be available each year if the FDA lifted the ban. 

219,000 pints of blood could save 657,000 lives.

(info taken from America's Blood Centers and  an article from CNN

)

Under present law, uninfected, healthy gays are unable to donate blood.  This is because the HIV epidemic previously infected a large gay community, and gays were the main source and holders of the HIV virus.  Not allowing gays to donate blood in the early 1980s was a safe and rational decision, one that I am sure has prevented those in need of blood transfusions from receiving the virus through their transfusions.  However, it is not 1983.  There are now tests capable of identifying HIV-positive blood, yet, last June gays were again denied the right to save lives and the ban was upheld.

       The Red Cross criticized this decision and the policy as "medically and scientifically unwarranted."

          Statistics show that the largest portion of people diagnosed and living with an AIDS diagnosis are African American.  Statistics from this year also show that the majority of those living with AIDS were infected through male-to-male contact.  However, African Americans are eligible to donate blood.  Imagine if they weren't?  If gays and African Americans both could not donate blood and this right could only be given to an elite group of chosen saviors, many, many people would be unable to get the transfusions they need.

     This ban is very clearly prejudiced.  I hope that if I am ever in need of a blood transfusion, I will be given the option to accept disease-free, gay blood, rather than die without it.-Besides being flawed in its prejudice, the system is also flawed in other manners.  All men are asked, before donating, if they have had sexual contact with another man.  What if they lie?  What if a closeted gay wants to save 3 lives and is HIV-free?  The liars are eligible to give blood.  So, if you want to donate, and you're gay, all you have to do is LOOK straight and lie.  What a system.

DADT POLICY REPEALED

"DON'T ASK DON'T TELL" POLICY RULED UNCONSTITUTIONAL ON SEPTEMBER 9, 2010!

+1 for the gays! 

Historical Injustice

     The U.S. Constitution once held that blacks counted for 3/5 of a person.  The United States stands alone as the only country on our Earth that continues to sentence juveniles to execution.  During colonial times, those who did not attend Sunday masses would be sentenced to death and other religious persecutions. Supposed 'witches' would be burned alive, townspeople tortured to death for stealing a vegetable.  Until 1986, being gay was considered a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of  Mental Disorders (DSM).  Today, in 2010, gays are not allowed to be married.

      There have been times in our past when it has been wrong to be black, female, Jewish, non-religious--different.  
For the most part, many of these prejudices remain a part of our past, especially from a legal point of view.
     However, many lives were lost or ruined before we changed our ways.  Slaves have died, women oppressed, young girls burned at a stake for practicing witchcraft, these are all mistakes we have made as a country that can never be undone.  Yes, we have moved on from them, but how many lives are lost or ruined before something is deemed unconstitutional?  Too many have experienced wrongdoing in our precious Land of the Free.
      Why aren't we getting these memos on time?  Aren't we supposed to be civilized? It's 2010.  We've been wrong before.  We've seen it happen, we've seen these changes occur.  Yet, we cannot get these lives back.   Slavery and religious persecution were unconstitutional way before we recognized them legally as such, and these wrongdoings can never be compensated for. Murder is wrong whether illegal or not.  We know these things innately.  And despite this, we emotionally, physically, and irrationally maltreat those who are our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and friends for nothing more than being exactly who they are.  We cannot undo the things we've done.   However, we can learn from them.  Or can we?  Are we?
      We've outlawed any kind of persecution in the workplace based on sex, race, gender and orientation.  And yet gays continue to be scrutinized by this country as a whole.  We've got a history of bad mistakes not too far behind us.  Let's remember the Civil Rights Movement did not take place all too long ago.  Blacks have fairly newly been created equal.  And they, get this, can even be married.  We're getting closer; you're beginning to catch on, America.  Now, in 2010, all men are created equal -- except for the gay ones.  It's unfair, it's disgusting, and it's wrong.  That's a fact.  And maybe in the next ten or twenty or fifty years, the law will agree.
    
      Prejudice never dies, it merely changes venues.  Welcome to the Free World.